I think for the past 5 years, there is nothing I achieve that can be proud of or at least has people go to me and say 'I'm so proud of you' or 'Great, you did it' or even 'Good job!'. Maybe there is but still, it hasn't reach the level where I suppose to achieve something excellently.
I don't know about others but to me, this is the worst thing ever happened to me, as far as I could remember. I'm nearly got kicked out. Yes, I put all the blame on my shoulder and I think I know why it has happened. It's because I'm a dead duck! To those who have been with me, probably they would say, this is something that people would expect from me, or they are not surprise hearing this.
When you get something that is so low and so not worth your money that you had spent, everything seem to be useless. My feeling now is a mixture of regret and despair and embarrassment and disappointment. Naahh, some said life is too short to regret. This is definitely a repetition of history to me. Only this time it's worst. Too worst to talk about.
God has punished me, and I don't know whether I could survive the days without being followed by disgrace of meeting other people and shameful of what a fool person I am. I'm doomed!