i'm back now at seremban after spending my 2 days at my friend's place
i enjoyed the visit and thanx a lot to his family
ok, now, back to what i wanna tell u guys
looking at the title, yes, it's gonna be an emo entry again
but don worry coz u cud call this half-emo entry
just read this to find out what the things that i want to tell ya!
actually, this is something that usually happen to those who wasn't born in a rich and wealthy family
it's not like i'm not grateful for what i have
it's just my point of view coz this thing happened to me recently
so i wanna share with u guys how it feels when something u really wanted end up in others hand!
but before that, i wanna recall a situation that happened to me about 2 years ago
it is about a laptop
aku bru taw psl laptop2 ni since i was in form 4
at that time, it wasn't really clear to me regarding the use of a lappy
it all become really clear when i was in matric and i was one of my wish list to own a lappy
that time came when i entered college and that incident was not very happy actually
u know, i hoped that my dad cud buy me the new one
but he gave me the used one instead
it was an old laptop and i wasn't really excited coz my actual wish was not really fulfilled
but i used it and until my uncle gave me his laptop which are up to date than my previous lappy but still not a new one
i was like "oh god! not again!!"
but all these jealousy things started when one of my buddy got a new lappy
and he actually bought it with his JPA scholarship
i was happy for him coz finally he got one
but at the same time, i was jealous and thinking about asking my parent to buy me one
dah la lappy dia tu jnis yg aku nk
well, of coz those who close to me will know sape yg aku ckpkn ni
but to la, not everything in this world are meant to be ours
aku just sabar and hope that oneday, i'll be able to have my own, i reapet, my OWN lappy
owh, i forget to tell ya, aku ni jns yg kuat jealous and xtaw how to hide the emotions
i'm seeking the way right now
any idea guys!!??
and it happened again to me
ok as u guys know, my henfon was stolen last week
i'm suffering now coz i can't communicate with my 'loved one'
so, during my weekend at my friend's place, we went to *** to search for a new henfon
my friend also wanted to buy one
actually, my dad was already called me and he willing to give his henfon to me
it's not really a sacrifice since he just bought a new one
just kidding ok
but the henfon my dad wanted to give me is not my type
i don like NOKIA
i want SONY ERICSSON
i'm not being ungrateful guys
thanx to my dad coz i dont have to spend my money to buy the henfon
but like i said, i don really like the henfon but since it is my dad's gift, so i just accept it
i know it's rude and bodoh, i admit it
i'm trying to learn how to be grateful so that ALLAH ampunkn dosa2 ku
ok, back to the topic
my friend bought a new fon, and thw fon is actually the one that i wanted
i just really loooovee the fon since it's a flip one
as i'm writing this entry, i still feel the jealousy inside me but choose not to show it coz i don want people to see me like this
i know its really bad, jealous to ur close friend
but nk wat cne, i can't help it
so, i was really tense and angry and suck on the way back home coz i dunno how to see the positive side of the story
so i just keep quite and watching my friend enjoying his brand new henfon
like i said, it is my bad to feel all these things
i'm not suppose to act act and feel this way
Ya Allah, plz make this jealousy go away!!
i try to act like henfon tu bkn rezeki aku utk memilikinya but still, whenever i see the fon, rse jealous tu muncul blk
it's kinda hurt u know and suck!!!
plz someone teach me how to be grateful and thankful to Allah!!
dah doa dah tp....
lastly i wanna said
we do admire a lot of things in the world
not everything we like are meant to be ours
and although I try to accept things and act like normal
but deep inside in my heart, i can still feel the jealousy
hope Allah lead me thru the way!
p/s ~ aku bkn nk m'buruk2kn sesape yg aku sebut dlm entry2 aku tp dowg sume involve in my life so i have to write about them a bit..