:: i'm so confuse! ::

Salam to all my readers

love is so confusing. my mind block it from coming, but looks like my heart won't listen. it always welcome for love, no matter how hard i try. arghh, hate this feeling.

i don't mean to fall for her, it just a 'business' deal. only me and her know what the 'business' are. but now, i'm feeling this thing, dunno what it is but it make me uneasy. i'm not ready for this to happen. i'm not ready yet. actually it's kinda weird. usually, people will more than happy, they'll be exaggerating if they found a gf, but not it my case.

i'm not like what you guys think. i'm more than that. it just i can't tell everything. some of it have to keep to myself. and to one who i trust. i'm confuse right now. can't accept this feeling but can let it go either. to make thing worst, that girl is already taken. and i'm not a gf-stealer.


and yesterday, i saw her talking to the phone with her bf. i dunno what happen to me but it feels hurt, a bit. i think i'm suppose to just relax and act like nothing happen, but i feel hurt instead. "she's taken Judiene", i try to remind myself with that but don't know how long i have to depend on that.

right now, all i can think is, whether i should keep my distance from her or just live my life like nothing happen. i'm not a guy that people want to be with, believe me, you'll be surprise if you get to know me, i mean the real me. sorry, love is just not for me at the moment.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok guys, previously in my entry i talk about Earth Hour and the conspiracy thing was not my idea. i just read from blogs and i wrote it down, so that i can share it with my readers. i stress it again, the idea wasn't come from me. we're cool!

:: Earth Hour - is it a conspiracy? ::

Salam to all my readers

tonight, from 8.30 pm to 9.30 pm, over 121 countries have signed up for Earth Hour 2010 and will be in dark for this one-hour campaign organized WWF (World Wide Fun and Nature aka World Wildlife Fund).

but i'm not gona talk about the campaign, or what kind of event is that because i'm sure people all around the world have already aware about this worldwide program. i'm gonna write what behind this event, that i've been reading from blog to blog and websites instead.

ok, the idea of shutting down electricity for one hour in support of the global warming is great, you know but there some people who think different. you see, the organizer claimed that the campaign is just a step-stone for the global warming issue and UK, USA and european country is the country who've been supporting this event ever since it was held. but come to think of it, these countries is actually the highest contributors for global warming issues which derive from their industrialization, war, widely-used of nuclear energy. it's like putting a good thing in front of a bad thing, and people wouldn't realize it.


other than that, this also shows their powerfulness in planning what's next for the world and their strong-hold of human mentality or to be specific, mentality of Muslim people. i started to believe this when i read that high-profile Ulama doesn't support this event and think that Muslim people shouldn't be 'too supportive' on this event.

how far this news to be true, i don't know. i just write from what i read and share with you guys, you know, if you have opinion to share or if you happened to be reading the same thing like i did. but whatever it is, as part of this world, we should do things with good intentions, regardless how bad the result will turn to be. and i believe that, positive thinking and good intentions do come together. so now, it all up to you. think.

:: a text that make me smile widely ::

Salam to all my readers

here a quiz ~ what is the best feeling in the world? it's very subjective and there are lot to be listed but i do know one feeling that stand out among others and there's no doubt that you gonna love it. it's the feeling when you receive something from a person that you have crush on for the first time! but in my case, a text messages from my friend, who told me that the person that i have interested in wanna get to know me. complicated eh, don't be!

it was like this. i have interested to know this person, but i don't have the courage to talk to her (like i said in my entry before). so, i asked my friend to be the middle person. she know this girl, as they was in a same lab. one day, she told this person that someone wanna befriend with her. days later, i got her email, and her phone number, and her facebook. what a lucky guy i am.

but still, there was no chatting between us. i don't know how to begin and how to greet her. she was always walking in a group, go here and there with her friends. just don't find the right time talk to her.

and this morning, i got a text from my friend, that said that girl would be pleased to be my friend and if i don't start, she will approach me first. ahh, what a good mood to start a day. hahaha. but it would be embarrassing and lame if girl start to approach guy first. it's like perigi mencari timba. but who cares right! lol.

hope the time will come soon. can't wait. finger crossed! XP!

p/s ~ oh, thanks to Cik Bena for this beautiful award. hehehe.

:: reunion?? let me think about it ::

Salam to all my readers

i've met some of my old friends on facebook, friends that i haven't heard since i left my primary school. some of them are recognizable and some of them are like totally a different person. i'm quite surprise to see how they've changed, physically. mentally i'm not so sure. haha. i don't know if they act like i do when they first saw me after 10 years. but i do think that i don't change much. just get a little fatter i think, especially on my cheek.

that's the great thing about facebook. it reunited you with people who you haven't met since your childhood and also can make new friends. one thing will be asked if you're meeting your old friends - when is the reunion? yeah, reunion. me, myself, doesn't like that idea much. not really. i prefer meeting at the mamak stall or just simply chatting via YM or phone. i'm a shy guy remember, so, reunion is not really my option.

when it comes to reunion, it's all a bit formal. not in term of dress code, but in term of the venue, the food, people who coming etc. if you organize a reunion party, well, it has to be something that you all will remember. you know, like meeting at Mid Valley and play bowling afterward, or throw a big party at the Zouk. i never been to The Zouk before. i'm not 'club' guy. haha.

reunion also can be a bad thing, to those who seem not to achieve anything after living school. i mean of course people will ask you, "hey, what are you doing now" or "where do you study" or "what course are you taking in University". you know, questions like this are a big NO NO for people like that. it's a bit cliche but it's the fact. they'll be shy or timid, surrounded by people who edu level are higher than them. me too, will be feeling the same thing.

so, if you want to invite me to a reunion party, inform me first but don't expect me to say yes straight away. the idea is fun if we just be cool and steady about it, not be fussy. but hey, i don't say reunion is suck ok, in fact i'm looking forward to see my old friends, in person. so, moral of the story is, be cool. hahaha. until then.

:: windy Judiene! ::

Salam to all my readers

this is just a quick and random update from a boy who claim that he is...ok straight to the point. do you guys like wind? yeah wind, the feeling when it blows your face and your hair softly and gently. it almost the same feeling you'll feel when a girl touch your cheeks, and smoothly she touch your hair. erkk?

ok la, no need to be crazy and giddy. my friends always teased me, saying that i'm too much feeling. you know, sitting by the window, staring at the outside of the house and feel the breeze hitting your face. to be honest, yes, i do like to do that. in fact, i would love to go to the beach everyday or a wide green field, coz there are the places that can make me calm and feel like everyday is a bless.

if i'm driving, i prefer to open the window and feel the wind, rather than turn on the aircond. but depend on situation la. i'm not stupid to turn off the aircond if i'm stuck in traffic jam. in case like that, i'll opt for the aircond. but my friend once said that, if you open your window while you're driving, it's more gas consuming than turn on the aircond. is that true? if that so, lets everybody open their window. then we can say 'Hi' to each other while we wait for the traffic light to turn green.

ohh, one more thing. i love wind because sometimes i can be quite a 'windy' person too. means that my emotion is not stable and it can change drastically depend on things that i encounter on that day. didn't i tell you that i'm a hot-tempered person? but not to worry, i never slap or kick people ass without any good reason. i get 'windy' in a right time.

told you this is just a random post. don't expect me to write another love story. ops, hey, speaking of love story, actually i do have some to share with ya. this time, it's about me. haha. will be writing about that soon. gotta go. daa~~

:: if you're in her shoes ::

Salam to all my readers

today, i feel so mature that i can't wait to get married. lol. wanna know why? earlier today, i had a chat with my friends about being a married man and all things about marriage. but then suddenly, my friend come up with a story about her relationship with her current boyfriend, which is taken as a bad news by her parents. we call her Kak H (not her real name).

here i share with you guys a lil bit of the story. it's like a love story between Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Bukater in Titanic. lol again. this friend of mine, she's 27 and her boyfriend is older than her. ok, that one her parent can accept. but that guy is academically lower than Kak H. this one, a big NO NO to her parent. the reason is, they don't afraid that that man can't support his family and will lead to financial problem later on.

in my opinion, yeah, the guy usually have to be richer or senang kte, tinggi drp yang perempuan. this is because the man will be the one who gonna support his wife and the rest of his family regardless of the job or position of his spouse. if he don't have a secure job or his job is not as good as his partner, the situation will be a little awkward and uncomfortable when it comes to who's gonna pay the bills, who's gonna do the groceries and who's gonna pay for pay the house rent. from these reasons, it's clear that her parents has strong points to forbid her from marrying that guy.

i don't think she will living a happy life if this matter doesn't come to an end. i mean she lover him so much that she doesn't want to lose him but at the same time, she doesn't want to be marked as a black sheep in her family. like an old Malay saying, di luah mati emak, di telan mati bapak. she's trying her best to convince her family to accept him as his in-law.

so guys, you've read the story. now it's your time to give out your opinion and i would love to hear that from all my readers. feel free to drop some thoughts in the comment box. just think - if you're in her shoes, what would you do? what decision would you make? thanks for sharing guys. love ya!

:: what a chicken! ::

Salam to all my readers

please don't vomit yet. today, i got my stitches removed.yay me! finally, my face is back to normal (do not say anything bout the scar, i'm warning ya!), which mean, i'm handsome again! ahahahaha, ok, now you guys may vomit!

ok, enough of the silly part. now the serious part. in our life, we encounter so many different kind of people, wherever we go. be it at school, at your work place, you name it. and of course, there's people who you might want to befriend with, but you don't have the gut to approach them, or greet them, or simply just give them a smile. i've been in this situation, and up until now, i'm still regret that i'm not brave to approach people who i think attractive and interesting when i got the chance back then.

first, it was my holiday with my family in Sarawak. we went there with an agency, so we moved in group. i was 13. there was this boy, from Kota Bharu, and he was ordinary in a way that i can't explain. it's not like i fell for him, hell no. it just i feel like befriend with him coz there was only two boys in my group, me and the boy. i don't know his name coz i didn't get the chance to talk to him. there was several moments where we bump into each other at the hotel we stayed but i didn't have the gut. sometimes it made me think, "what am i doing, he's a guy. why should i be shy?". time goes by, until the last day there and we remain unspoken.


the second incident was during my summer camp around 2003. well, it wasn't really a summer camp. it was a academic camp. i don't remember the exact name. there was this girl, wearing glasses and quite tall. at first, i didn't give a damn about her but one incident turned it all over. one day, her name tag went missing and i heard that everyone in her group was busy looking for it.

maybe i was just a lil bit lucky coz it was me who actually found the name tag. she was in tears coz any student who lost their name tag will be given a RM5 penalty. we didn't really get a chance to properly sit and talk to each other but at least she knew me and recognized my face ever since.

and now, i'm experiencing the same situation but i'm not gonna spill all here coz people who close to that person might read this. hehehe. that person caught my attention on the first day he/she arrive. still don't get the opportunity to be in a same place with that person, or do anything together, so it's gonna be tough for me to approach him/her.

ok, that's all for now. until then. toodles.

:: the accident ::

Salam to all my readers

ok, now it's time for me to unravel the mystery that happened to me last Sunday. ahahaha. it's not really a mystery la, some of you might already know the story but to those who are dying (???) and have been contacting me to spill about the mystery, this entry is for you. ;P

last Sunday, as we (me and my besties) were heading back to Seremban after spending some quality time together in Langkawi, we accidentally involve in a accident, at Tapah Highway, neat a R&R. everybody seem ok but not in my case. thanks to it, i'm now facing a trauma as having a uninvited scar under my chin. errk, i don't think trauma is a suitable word to use but the scar is detectable. unless i let my goatee grow and cover it.

it was raining cat and dog. my friend was driving calmly while listening to radio when a car suddenly stop. my friend did hit the break but the wet made it difficult to stop on time, and the car didn't stop, until it collides the car in front. i still can remember the 'boom' sound and the pain when my face slammed at the driver seat. it cause me a new glasses and a scar which i don't know whether it can be hidden or not.

but whatever it is, alhamdullilah everyone is ok but the car. now i'm already starts to work back and everybody seem caring towards us, asking about the accident, giving some advices and all that. i was like "nobody ever act so caring to me before". ahahahaha. very da drama king.

remember guys, be careful wherever you are. think about your family, and your loved ones.

:: Langkawi - the tragic holiday ::

Salam to all my readers

i was still remember, the day me and my besties went to Langkawi. it was on Thursday night, Feb 25, and we were all giddy and excited. we arrived in Penang and went straight to Wan's house, before continuing our journey to Jetty Kuala Perlis tomorrow morning. credit to Wan's parents for the warm welcome and all the accommodation they served. very nice of them.


the next day, we headed to Langkawi via Kuala Perlis Jetty, and arrived they at about 2 pm, checked-in at the the most budget hotel i ever been, CD Motel. the motel was cheap, as for us students, rm85 per night is cheap enough. the room was quite comfortable but the surroundings was B grade.

went to several interesting places on our first day there. Pantai Chenang, Pantai Tengkorak and Pekan Kuah are among the places that we went. the scenery there was sooo breathtaking and i'm gonna miss the blue crystal water and white sandy beach there. we borong a lot of chocolates and things at Pekan Kuah.



next day, went to island hopping - feel good - went swimming at Tasik Dayang Bunting and Pulau Beras Basah - feel good - love the scenery - got chance to watch eagle feeding - interesting activity - running out of time - went back to jetty and bought tickets back to Kuala Perlis Jetty - interesting experience.







entry about the accident will be posted soon..

:: the accident, intro.. ::

Salam to all my readers

this just a quick post from me, coz berukband aku wat hal plak. nak online mmg tak bleh skrg. so, as for now, i'm still recovering from accident at Tapah Highway, on my way back from Langkawi. yes, i've been to Langkawi last weekend, with my besties. talking about that later k. i'll share with you guys my story in a different entry.

so for the time being, just enjoy my latest pic, taken after the accident. rugi btol tak amek pic when the blood still oozing from the cut under my chin. that should be nice. ehehehe. will post about that later. too. hehe. so, until then. luv ya guys! wish i can eat and talk like usual. ehehehehe.