:: the first Raya without him.. :'( ::

Salam to all my readers

bru td aku n my fb fren talked about Hari Raya which we'll celebrate it dlm masa semggu lbey kurang
we talked about how great that day is, u know, Hari Raya, and how we celebrate it with smilling faces and kutip duit raya
hahahahaaa
and then he said something about his grandad preparing food for Hari Raya, that was when i suddenly think of my late grandad
i paused as i couldn't continue the conversation, i dunno

we still missing Tok We
yup, i called him Tok We, it's Tok Wan actually tp kt 'We' is a Kelantan slang for 'Wan'
phm x korg??
walaunpun aku jarang beraya kt kelantan on the first day of Raya, but its defferent this time coz i will never ever see him again
my grandad passed away 3 weeks before Ramadhan approach
so Ramadhan bg my grandmum n her kids this year is not as happy as ever
usually, my grandad is the one who is bz preparing for the food as my grandmum da xberupaya nk masak
kalo time Raya plak, dia la yg beli barang2 mknan ke, coz when it comes to cooking the kelantanese dishes like kuah laksa kelantan and sup ekor, don ever count on his kids
that's his field of expertise

thinking back when he was alive, i become sad
as i'm growing older, i don't really spend much time with him although when i'm home
bcoz of his illness, he lost his voice and we hardly understand what he says
mlm2 after solat isyak, dia selalu gak dtg umah aku yg krg dari 500 meter jaraknye
i can remember his small box full with rokok daun
yes, that's his liking, used to smoke with my dad and uncle Joe
sometimes he will ask my dad to get him the tembakau, imported from Thailand
according to him, the tembakau from the place taste better than tembakau made in Malaysia
hahahaaa, dunno la, i never smoke rokok daun before, so, can't tell ya which taste better

walaupun dia xbekerja and sekadar harapkan duit pemberian anak2 dan duit pencen, me and my cousins still get the duit raya from him
last year, we got RM5 each hehehee
and that was the last time i ever received duit raya from him
aku still terkejut dan terasa dgn Tok We sbb dia pergi secara mengejut
seingt aku, the last day i was there, Tok We still as healthy as usuall, minus his voice la
and then, tup tup je aku dpt berita drp adik aku yg Tok We meninggal
seyes, physically, mmg dia xnmpk cm org skt lgsg
jln pn cpt, still do the chores kt kampung, selalu ke masjid
tu la rutin harian dia
tp, yela, ajal maut ni kte xbleh nk jgka, kalo da smpai tu, xde ape yg boleh tahan

and as i'm typing this entry
i think back
yes
this raya
it will be the first Raya without him....

p/s ~ :'((