:: not everything in this world meant to be ours! ::

Salam to my fellow readers

i'm back now at seremban after spending my 2 days at my friend's place
i enjoyed the visit and thanx a lot to his family
hehehe

ok, now, back to what i wanna tell u guys
looking at the title, yes, it's gonna be an emo entry again
but don worry coz u cud call this half-emo entry
hehehe
just read this to find out what the things that i want to tell ya!

actually, this is something that usually happen to those who wasn't born in a rich and wealthy family
it's not like i'm not grateful for what i have
it's just my point of view coz this thing happened to me recently
so i wanna share with u guys how it feels when something u really wanted end up in others hand!
but before that, i wanna recall a situation that happened to me about 2 years ago

it is about a laptop
aku bru taw psl laptop2 ni since i was in form 4
at that time, it wasn't really clear to me regarding the use of a lappy
it all become really clear when i was in matric and i was one of my wish list to own a lappy
that time came when i entered college and that incident was not very happy actually
u know, i hoped that my dad cud buy me the new one
but he gave me the used one instead
it was an old laptop and i wasn't really excited coz my actual wish was not really fulfilled
but i used it and until my uncle gave me his laptop which are up to date than my previous lappy but still not a new one
i was like "oh god! not again!!"

~ this is the lappy that i really wanted to make it mine! ~

but all these jealousy things started when one of my buddy got a new lappy
and he actually bought it with his JPA scholarship
i was happy for him coz finally he got one
but at the same time, i was jealous and thinking about asking my parent to buy me one
dah la lappy dia tu jnis yg aku nk
well, of coz those who close to me will know sape yg aku ckpkn ni
but to la, not everything in this world are meant to be ours
aku just sabar and hope that oneday, i'll be able to have my own, i reapet, my OWN lappy
owh, i forget to tell ya, aku ni jns yg kuat jealous and xtaw how to hide the emotions
i'm seeking the way right now
any idea guys!!??

~ seriously it is! ~

~ hmmm... ~

and it happened again to me
ok as u guys know, my henfon was stolen last week
i'm suffering now coz i can't communicate with my 'loved one'
so, during my weekend at my friend's place, we went to *** to search for a new henfon
my friend also wanted to buy one
actually, my dad was already called me and he willing to give his henfon to me
it's not really a sacrifice since he just bought a new one
hahahahaha lOlz
just kidding ok
but the henfon my dad wanted to give me is not my type
it's NOKIA
i don like NOKIA
i want SONY ERICSSON
hihihihi
i'm not being ungrateful guys
thanx to my dad coz i dont have to spend my money to buy the henfon
but like i said, i don really like the henfon but since it is my dad's gift, so i just accept it
i know it's rude and bodoh, i admit it
i'm trying to learn how to be grateful so that ALLAH ampunkn dosa2 ku

ok, back to the topic
my friend bought a new fon, and thw fon is actually the one that i wanted
i just really loooovee the fon since it's a flip one
as i'm writing this entry, i still feel the jealousy inside me but choose not to show it coz i don want people to see me like this
i know its really bad, jealous to ur close friend
but nk wat cne, i can't help it
so, i was really tense and angry and suck on the way back home coz i dunno how to see the positive side of the story
so i just keep quite and watching my friend enjoying his brand new henfon

like i said, it is my bad to feel all these things
i'm not suppose to act act and feel this way
Ya Allah, plz make this jealousy go away!!
i try to act like henfon tu bkn rezeki aku utk memilikinya but still, whenever i see the fon, rse jealous tu muncul blk
it's kinda hurt u know and suck!!!
plz someone teach me how to be grateful and thankful to Allah!!
dah doa dah tp....
hmmmm...

lastly i wanna said
we do admire a lot of things in the world
BUT
not everything we like are meant to be ours
and although I try to accept things and act like normal
but deep inside in my heart, i can still feel the jealousy
hope Allah lead me thru the way!
aminn..


p/s ~ aku bkn nk m'buruk2kn sesape yg aku sebut dlm entry2 aku tp dowg sume involve in my life so i have to write about them a bit..

:: come on and follow me! ::

Salam to all my readers

i just wanna share with u guys what i'v been doing to ease all my stress and at the same time, regain my body shape
hahaha
u wanna see how my body used to be??
scroll ur mouse down

I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
V

~ haha, can't believe haa?? ~

starting from, ermm, yesterday actually, heee
i've been filling my evening with jogging
i know it's hard to believe as i found it hard to belive too
me?? jogging??
ok2, i admit that i'm not really into this kind of activity but if it's for my body shape, anything is acceptable
hahaha

since my henfon is stolen yesterday after jogging, i thot maybe returning to the place will remind me of my beloved henfon
but, i make myself strong, and just jog at the park with one aim
well, actually there are more than one aim but in this case, just one aim
to regain my body shape!
hahaha

so friends, sape2 yg rse nk sihat or nk kurus, plz join me
hehehe



p/s ~ another aim for me to jog is to make me forget of all of my jeaousy towards somebody!!

:: my henfon, in memory! ::

~ this is my henfon ~

Salam to all my readers

ok2, this entry is not gonna be an emo entry
so u can read it happily
hehe
thanx guys for all of ur support
i really appreciate it
u guys are truly a person that i can called as friend
thank you very much!

ok la, back to my entry today
ptg td, about 5.30 pm, me and my friends went to Taman Tasik here at Seremban to have a lil bit exercise
well, we went to jog actually
so, before we get out of adly's car, we put henfons and wallet in the dashboard coz ssh la jogging ade henfon dlm poket
we didn't expect or think about anything bad since there were crowds at the park
so, i think it was a safe plan to hide our henfons in the dashboard

and by the time we wanted to go home, we found out that our henfons and money were stolen
the saddest part is, adly's car kne bukak but no one actually saw that
i dunno whether people there really don't see the incident or they just simply ignore it
i was so shocked and frustrated as i used my ptptn money to buy the henfon
what a lose!
i felt horrible after knowing what was happening
i love my henfon so much
i actually cannot believe that my henfon was gone
forever!!!

bad luck to those who steal it!
fuck u!!
but at the end, aku pasrah la psl kejadian ni
moral of the value, don ever leave ur belongings in ur car
people nowdays are very creative
they know how to break in the car without leaving any sign
huhuhu~~

p/s ~ i love my henfon.. :'(

:: i just can't! ::

Salam to all my fellow readers

have u ever feel something irritating and then 1 second later u try to act like nothing's happen??
have u??
well, in my case, i've been thru this a lot
and believe me u guys, it's hard to maintain a smiley face when ur in trouble or when ur facing something suck and irritating!!
owh, almost forgot, this entry is one of my emo entry so shud i say get ur ass of my blog if u don like it??

dlm m'hadapi hidup aku ni, u know, being a 1001 emotion person is tough
it's tough bcoz ppl around u dunno what ur feeling and they try to cheer u up
but what they dunno is the thing that make me feel 'suck' is actually got to do with them
i don mean that i'm true all the time and they are wrong all the time
it's just i'm seem not to understand the nature of the world
u know, being in a friendship sometimes has ups and downs
sometimes u happy and a second later u sad
but, to maintain a happy face whenever u r surrounding by ur fren is tough
they tend to ask 'what's the matter' but how cud i tell them when they are the reason that i feel 'suck'!!??

don be confiused
it's not my freinds' fault
it's just me who is emo terlebih
yeah, that's me
sometime i feel jealous of something that i shouldn't feel that way
it's suck u know
but, sorry guys, i can't help it
so, to cure my emo terlebih syndrome ni, i always think of something happy that we've done sepanjang perkenalan kami
i feel cool a lil bit by doing so
but, smpai ble aku nk cni??

i don care if my friend read this
i don care if they say 'ni mst ko ckp psl aku kn'
to me, my blog is a place where i can spill out all of my probs and what are kept inside my heart
i don give a damn if dowg rse menyampah
i really don care

but in the meantime, i try to be someone better
someone that can accept things easily without being haunt by jealousy
i may sounds like a girl
u know, jealosy
hehehe, sorry dude, if u wanna know about Izzuddin, huh, be my guest



p/s ~ lalalalala...

:: yay! dpt award! ::

Salam to all my fellow readers

today, i got an award, a friendship award from Wanie
take a look at my brand new award
heeeee
thanx Wanie, muahhhh!
hahahaa...

~ Friendship Award From Wanie ~

i would like to give this award to my close friends here but still dunno who's the lucky person to get this
hehehe
can't decide at the moment
so stay tune k
who knows, ur name will be enlisted in later
heeeee

:: no shoulder to cry on ::

Salam

i was planning to write about our day out at Seremban but something was bothering me this past few days
owh, don worry, i'm not sick
it's just, my heart seem a bit distracted
i dunno what cause this unpleasant feeling but it kinda hurt since i'm a guy with 1001 emotions!
but the worst part is, i feel like i'm all alone and there's no one here to comfort me..
sorry this entry is gonna be an emo entry..

do u ever feel like u got a problem but u don have a shoulder to cry on??
i dunno about u guys but i'm feeling it right now
it's suck! horrible man!
i feel like i'm drowning in my own problems
i can't breathe
i'm clueless
i may look cool and fine if u see from the outside
but deep inside my heart, i really wish i have someone to turn to so that i can open up about my problems
ahhh, it's not really a problem though but everything i do it seem not wrong


it's really hurt when it comes to human's feeling
there's no cure for it
only time will heal the wound
but the wound that i'm feeling now, is still bleeding
sorry for being so emotional but since i don't have a shoulder to cry on
my blog is perfect to replace


but above all, what make me feel like i'm goin' crazy is the problem itself!
it's something that a normal human are not suppose to feel
it's weird that i can tell u the problem
ohh god!
it's not a surprise if i'll be diagnosed with depression one day
pills??
yeah, anti-depressant pills can do
but, no, i'm not gonna take it
no, never!

hmmmm...
i'm totally crazy!!!


p/s ~ i'm not expect u guys to understand this stupid and crazy entry anyway...

:: nk tp xbley ::

Salam to all my readers

i'm a bit bz this week
coz this is my 1st week as a trainee at Hospital Tuanku Jaafar, Seremban
as a Medical Lab Technologist
me and Adly are placed in the Chempath Lab
it's fun and pretty tired since the lab got many samples to deal with
and most of them are urine

i don have time to write this entry longer so i'm gonna share with u guys about my practical session here at Seremban later
plz don miss me
hahahaha
so see u guys soon!

daaa~~

:: its hurt when.. ::

It's really hurt when u believe someone and u share everything with him

but

the believe that u have in him is not enough to make him do the same to u

it's a bit weird but it hurts me

i dunno whether i'm jealous or what

but

its really hurt

u believe someone but he don't feel the same towards u



~sorry~

:: when Dr. Love starts to talk.. ::

Salam to all my fellow readers

now, i'm typing this entry live from my small rent room in Seremban
as u guys know kn, i'm gonna start my practical soon at Hospital Tuanku Jaafar here
so, to anyone who are dying to see me (haha) pls don come to the hospital
lOlz
can't wait to start practical laa (sarcastically) (",)

u know what guys, lately i've been thinking a lot about this
it's not bcoz i'm dying to try this or desperately need this
but, seeing my friend with their couples, happy2, yeah, most of them happy but ade gak la yg berendam ayaq mata hehe
yeah, that's what i've been thinking - COUPLE
u got it right
one of my old friend said that, maybe i'm gay, so that's why i'm not crazily looking for girls and single until now
am i gay?
yeah, i think i am
hahaha..

ok la, here's my opinion on this matter
i repeat again, this is just my honest opinion and doesn't relate to any people ok
so nnt jgn xpuas ati kutuk2 aku ek!!!
couple, it's a bond between man and woman, influenced by love
but there's also couple between man and man
or woman and woman
but that's the other side of the story..

couple ni ade +ve and -ve dia
according to Dr. Judiene aka me (aishhh)
couple bring more -ve influences than +ve ones
u know, when u start dating a girl, it means u have to start thinking about the responsibilities and the comitments u'll have to give to ur partner
u may be not married yet but if u are thinking of dating someone, plz be serious about it
i hate playboys/playgirls
they don have the right to play with one's feeling
so, be nice, honest and loyal to ur partner, which is not an easy job to do
to be frank, i'm not ready to think about someone's feeling seriously and not ready to trust a girl and make her the queen of my soul
hehehe
that's why la aku xde sesape
make sense x??

tp, ade gak bestnye kalo couple ni
we'll feel appreaciated and have someone to cry to if we get into any trouble
surely there's someone who can comfort u and give u supports
other than ur friend laa
friend always be there for another friend
that's my definition of friendship
other than that, couple gives u way to express ur 'nafsu serakah' to a girl
i mean people will not look twice at u if u hold hands or kiss ur partner
unless ur partner is same gender as u!
hahahaha
WTF la tuu!!!


so, the conclusion (like writing my report la plak) is if u want to involve in this whole couple thing, be sure that u r ready and not just bcoz u r jealous of others
dating is a one step closer to the married life
it's important bcoz u r actually choosing and seeking ur life partner
but above all, it's all depend to God's will
but we as His slaves, should follow His wisdom in everything that we do
hehehe
sekian, wabillahitaufiq walhidayah
assalamualaikum w.b.t

:)


p/s ~ if there's someone who like to invite me to give a speech regarding this matter, do not hesitate to send me an email.. hahahaha!!! xD

:: burning flame ::

~ hiasan semata-mata ~

Salam to all my readers

this entry basically is not so important pn
juz wanna share with u guys about what had happened yesterday
it was nearly a tragic accident but all are safe

like u guy know, the weather here is so hot and dry
so, yesterday evening, my mum bakar sampah
she didn't realize that there were a small area of dry bushes near the place where my mum burnt the garbage
so the fire from the burning garbage spread to the bushes
it cud be doused easily at first since the fire was small
but my dad said "alah, xde pape tuh, jap lg padam la tuh"
my mum listened to him and continued doing what she was doing

then, a couple of minutes later, the wind started to blow heavily
hahaha ade hiperbola neh
so, the fire became big and spread to all the entire bushes near my house
my mum panicked
she yelled to me and asked me to find a pipe
we tried to put out the fire but it was hard
the wind blow helped the fire to spread faster
fortunately, my uncle and few other people came to the rescue
they brought hoses and we combined the latter to make it longer

after nearly 20 minutes (i assume laa) finally, we managed to put out the fire
the ashes from the wood was blown by the wind
thank god the burning didn't attract the fire brigade to come
if they did, definitely we'll be fined
xsempat nk amek pic time tuh!
what a waste!

umi, it was all your fault
u are the one who shud be blamed for the open burning
hahaha
kidding guys
it was an accident laa..
take a look at my pic
sorry for the low-quality pic
we were panicked, remember?? :)

~ the smoke from the burning ~

~ Uncle Jo bz tgk2 asap ~

~ alhamdulillah all are safe! ~

:: back to school yeah!! (part 2) ::

~ laluan menuju ke Principal's office and dewan SIC ~

Salam to all my fellow readers

ok, lets finish what we'd started shall we?
in my previous entry with da same title, we stop at when i reached at my hostel
ok2, after that, Jay and i had some chat with pak guard man (still remember the character hehe)
but it almost 12 noon so we decided to meet other teachers that we hadn't got a chance to meet before (awkward huh?)
during my way to meet the teachers, i looked around and saw form 3 students walking near me
i noticed that they are small and doesn't look like form 3 students
i mean when i was in form 3, we were not that small
hehehe, ok, enough said!

we were heading to the library when a boy approached us
and it happened to be someone that i miss (miss??)
hey, can't i miss someone who is same gender as me??
he used to be my 'kid' when i was in form 5
he was in form 1 at that time
we played volleyball together
of course with few other guys laaaa
and now, he look different
he's all grown up
so tall
he was so small back then
that's why i called him 'kid'
hahaha
but two things that still same
his 'garau' voice and his teeth (haha censor sket ni ek)
we had a little talk coz he had a class to attend
too bad i didn't get a chance to take a picture with him
WTF!!
huhuhu~~

on my way to the principal's room
i bumped into a Bio teacher
Pn. Asmani - she's so sweet and sweet and sweet and........SWEET!
hahaha (awas bkn scandal ekk)
she was so surprised to see us
but i hate when she said
"mujahid, awok napok matured"
"izzuddin pulok, sehat nyo"
adoooiii!!
nah hamek ko Judiene!
dialek klate sehat means semakin berisi or gemuk la
skali kne fat!
ok2, i admit i'm a bit fatter
u can see it obviously at my cheek and my arms
aiyoooo!!
hate this!!

~ to dak2 SIC, jgn jeles hehe ~

~ Jay & Pn. Asmani ~

she asked about our studies and what we are doing now
she was smiling all the time
but i cud see the 'stressness' in her eyes
coz she teaches Biology in all classes of form 5!
huhuhu pity her
and before left, she was sporting enough to take a pictures with us
we were her students so no big deal!!

and here are some pics that we took that day
mostly pics of my school laa

~ perkarangan SIC ~

~ padang SIC terbentang luas ~

~ 2nd padang dlm sekolah ~

~ kt dataran ni la ktowg senamrobik dlu (multi-purpose court) ~

~ tu la masjid SIC next to multi-purpose court ~

~ the runaway hehe ~

~ ni la blok form 4 & 5 ~

i owe a lot to this school
to all my beloved teachers who had taught me from form 1 till form 5
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
may ur life be fulfilled with happiness and keredhaan from Allah SWT

p/s ~ i almost crying while writing this entry.. huhuhu :'(
Kid is wayyyy taller than the last time i saw him, still can't believe it hehe..

:: 'moulded' tag from Izzuddin Laziz ::

1. apa perasaan anda sekarang
cm bese je... 20 % ngntok!

2. saya nak makan
macaroni cheese and everything that has cheese!! (patot la gemok!)

3. saya x suka
ble rse ade prob lg yg blom settle!

4. impian saya
to live happily ever after, free from any problems duniawi and ukhrawi :)

5. haiwan yg saya tidak suka
all kinds of insects! (jwb soalan x??)

6. saya harapkan
bleh stdy dgn sepenuh hati tnpa hilang fokus!

7. jika boleh diputarkan masa
xnk r.. everything happened for a reason

8. saya pada 10 thn akan datang
da settle ngn keje, dah ade bini minah salleh and anak 4 org hahahaha xD

9. hp saya adalah
sony ericsson z610i kaler biru..

10. saya pernah bercinta sebanyak
.......zerooooo...

11. saya suka pada
semua org yg menyukai diri saya

12. kawan2 saya
xtaw cne nk describe.. mcm2 pe'el.. hehehe

13. pernah dikhianati
of coz..

14. apa yang hendak dilakukan terhadap org yg mengkhianati anda
get a big knife and cut his head off his body!! and then chop into pieces!!

15. senaraikan orang untuk di tag
- dhada
- shah
- ribena aka zra

:: "You Are Not Alone" said MJ ::

~ Michael Jackson : 1958 - 2009 ~

Salam to all my readers

actually, i'm not planning on writing about this
i was downloading Celine Dion's videos last night on YouTube
then i saw MJ's video, entitled You Are Not Alone at the related videos part
i opened it and while listening to the song, i dunno why but suddenly it touched my heart
i'm not a big fan of MJ to be honest but the melody and the lyric of the song
it really makes me think of him for a while and the news about his death

thinking about his shocking death and his life make me sad
he's dead already, Innalillah..
i've downloaded the mp3 version of the song
and i'm currently listening to it over and over and over again
i'm sure this song will make his fanatic and loyal fans cry
or at least, sink into their memories with MJ

it has been a week since his death news broke
but people around the world still praying for him
i hope he will rest in peace
and died in Islam

Al-Fatihah to Micheal @ Mikaeel Jackson

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael Jackson - You Are Not Alone

Another day has gone
I’m still all alone
How could this be
You’re not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you’re far away
I am here to stay

But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we’re far apart
You’re always in my heart
But you are not alone

‘Lone, ‘lone
Why, ‘lone

Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you’re far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we’re far apart
You’re always in my heart
For you are not alone

Whisper three words and I’ll come runnin’
And girl you know that I’ll be there
I’ll be there

You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you’re far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we’re far apart
You’re always in my heart

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you’re far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we’re far apart
You’re always in my heart

For you are not alone…

:: back to school yeah!! (part 1) ::

Salam to all my readers

in my previous entry, i did say that i'm gonna write about something which gonna show the other side of me
if u guys notice, i never write sad entry before
well, this is time, it's gonna be sad
but i didn't cry though!

ok, here's the story
last Wednesday, i went back to my old school, SIC (Sultan Ismail College), with my buddy, Mujahid aka Jay (thanx for the ride dude!)
we went there just nk amek sijil SPM and PMR yg dah lme terperap kt office
i was nervous to meet our teachers at first but Jay keep saying that all we have to do is take the certificates and get our ass out of here
but after taking the latter, we decided to stay there for a while
lps lme xdtg, xkn la terus blk kn..

~ kat lobby SIC ~

then, we went to see SIC latest PK HEM, Pn. Wan Norzila, who used to be my class teacher back at form 5, in her office
she's actually one of my favorite teachers
my feeling at that moment wasn't happy
but i felt sad instead
it has been ages since the last time i saw her
we talked about everything
termasuk 'ketidakpuasan' hati terhadap pengetua
hahahaha
ni antara sbb why i like her
she's not afraid to express her opinion
wlaupun terhadap pihak atasan ;)
hahaha..

~ me & Lady Norzila :) ~

actually, hari tu ade majlis perjumpaan ibubapa form 5
so, rmai cikgu2 yg mengajar form 5 terlibat
in the mean time, we went around our school, amazed by the transformation that changed the look of the school
then, we met this teacher
he was my Ketua Warden at my hostel - Mr. Zaimi
he looked happy to see us
we chatted for a while before he took us to our hostel
sempat gak la aku amek gmba ngn die :)

~ mr. zaimi & me ~

OMG!!!!! WTF!!!
that was the word that came out of my mouth when i saw the hostel
it looked different
so different
bangunan2 dicat semula
siap ada taman lg
nape la dowg xwat sume ni mase aku still kt sini!!??
then suddenly, hati aku rse sebak plak
coz selama 5 thn aku tggl kt hostel ni
it brought a lot of memories to see the place that used to be my 2nd home
i almost shed a tear u know..

sempat la gak aku snap2 pics sementara Jay tgk sekeliling
Dewan Makan pn daha ade air-cond
xbley jadi neh!
hehehe
a few minutes later, Jay called out my name
and that bcoz he saw Pak Guard Man!
he still works here! ingtkn da pindah
pakcik ni baik sgt

~ me & pak guard man ~

he is our pak guard
hehehe
then, ktowg chit chat jap, tnye2 khabar
tnye psl asrama ni yada yada yada...
then, ktowg pn blah
but before that, take a look guys at the pics of my hostel
:)






What will happen after this?
what will Judiene do when he meet 'his gf'?
wanna kno more?
find out on the next entry part 2
hehehe

:)



~~ to be continued ~~

:: yay! alhamdulillah... ::

Salam to all my fellow readers

actually, i'm happy today cos i'm writing my 50th entry!
hehehe
time passes so fast
that i couldn't take a rest
from posting new entries in my blog
to me, my blog is not so 'WOW'
its doesn't have the intellectual look
but still
it gives me comform
whenever i write, its like i'm telling people story
and that what make me comform the most!
hehehe

:)

to celebrate my 50th entry
i'll write something that will show the other side of me
i dunno whether u guys gonna realize it or not
but as far as i concern
i never write anything like this before
hehehe
just wait ok


until then...