Salam to all my readers
i'm seeking an advice actually. entry kali neh lebey kurang cm my inner prob la, prob yg xterluah disebabkan rasa rendah diri yg xsepatutnye. kalo aku cite kat sesape, pasti ayat ni antara yang femes org ckp kt aku, "ala, ko Judiene, wat rilek dah la". this thing happen maybe bcoz i'm not a hippie-hippie person, a bit pasif and not a creative person, dari segi percakapan. hahahahaa. dunno whether u guys can understand it or not, but if any of u got something to share with me, it'll be my pleasure to read your comment.
1st prob ~
the prob that i've been having since i was in secondary school is, aku akan jadi senyap or just be a listener ble aku berada dlm sesuatu kelompok. cthnye la, if dlm ramai2 tgh borak2 kn, i'll be the one who are there, physically but mentally, i'm at other place. it's like i can't communicate with so many people at the same time. hahahaa, funny isn't it??
i don't like, u know, just two people chatting, coz it'll be boring and lack of idea to continue the conversation. kalo dlm group, borak2, bru la best coz nnt ade je yg sambung idea yg nk dibualkan. tp ble dlm grup, aku jd snyap plak. maybe aku jns yg xbyk pengetahuan am, so, that explain why i just noded my head without even relpying them. kdg2 plak if aku ckp something, dowg just, "owh, ok" or sometimes just smilling, tnda dowg dgr pe aku ckp. but then if org len ckp, wahhh, byk plak dowg sambung. siap tergelak2 lg. nmpk sgt ape yg aku ckpkn xpenting or cm WTF je. xtaw la kowg phm ke x ape aku bebel neh.
2nd prob ~
kowg kalo baru2 kenal aku, let say bru beberapa bulan kenal aku, for sure kowg akan ckp aku ni bosan. really bosan. why?? why?? knape aku sggp kte diri aku seorang yg bosan? sbbnye, aku xde byk idea nk ckp. phm x?? cm xphm je.. cni, cthnye la kn, arini kowg jmpe aku, then kte borak2. pastu esk lusa, aku pasti akan ckp lg bnda yg sama. uhuhuuhuhu. kdg2 aku sndiri pasan, then aku jd malu ngn diri aku sndiri. patutla if duduk dlm satu grup, borak, org bralih perhatian kt org len. bcoz ape aku ckp kdg2 membosankn and people maybe think. "die ni asyik ckp bnda ni je".
~ tgk, pic aku pn bosan kn ~
aku perhati gak jenis org2 yg suke borak ni. kdg2 dowg cm xbape kenal taw, tp ble si A ni start borak ngn si B ni, wahhh, cm da kenal sjak kcik. bkn men lg. cm ape yg si A ni ckp, cm kne je ngn si B ni. this kind of personality la yg lack dlm diri aku neh. setakat ni alhamdulillah, xde lg yg ckp kt aku ni bosan, tp dlm ati, sape la yg taw. kdg2 melalui conversation pn aku dpt agak samada idea aku utk conversation ni best ke x. cthnye, if aku ngn kwn2 aku tgh dok borak2, then pas aku abes ckp, sume cm juz snyum2 je, snyap terus. nmpk sgt org xbape berminat ngn idea aku. kalo YM plak lg la, lama gler nk balas msj aku sbb pk ape ptut jawab. see?? see?? it shows that i'm a bosan guy. jeezz!
but, above of all, i still thankful to Allah sbb bg aku kwn2 yg aku ada skrg. without them, maybe idop aku akan lg bosan kot. ehehehehe. tbe2 feeling plak kn. lantak la. aku kn emo. huhuhuhu.
~ sorry if i look a bit fat in this pic :p ~
~ open house umah k.yan ~
~ after jungle trekking ~
p/s ~ try dgr single baru Mariah Carey - I Wanna Know What Love Is, feeling gler dgr lagu tuh.. re-make sbnrnye.. :-)